Last December, I ran an epic caption contest about that one time, at band camp, when Yo-Yo Ma met a wombat. Yeah, that really happened. Take a minute and click the link. Good times.

Since that time, roughly 284 pictures have been posted on the internet (give or take), but not until now has one warranted another caption contest. Ladies and gentleman, I give you M. Diddy herself, Martha Stewart.

Photo by Marissa Simon, a girl with whom I went to high school and haven’t seen for 20 years. God bless Facebook. You can find Marissa and her delicious-looking cakes at

What could possibly be running through the mind of our dear Martha? Well, friends, the options are limited only by your imagination. Like my last caption contest, the winner will receive a prize that I have yet to determine (yes, it might be another book. Reading *is* fundamental, you know).

The only rules are…there are no rules. Well, that’s not quite true. There are rules. But, you know, it’s a caption contest. Live long and prosper and don’t be evil and plagiarism sucks. Oh, and don’t talk about Fight Club. And, of course, yellow snow ain’t for eating. Trust me.

Submit your hilarious captions in the comments section below. I reserve the right to end this contest whenever I damn well please and all judgments are both entirely mine and entirely subjective.